Projects

Problem & Context

Relationship coaching and therapy are expensive, often unavailable when you need them most, and limited to scheduled sessions. When you're in the middle of a difficult conversation or processing something at 11pm, there's nowhere to turn.

So people are turning to AI. My partner and I started doing this too. It helped, but something felt off. The AI would agree with whoever was talking to it. If I vented about a disagreement, it took my side. When she did the same, it took hers. We weren't getting clearer, we were getting more entrenched.

The key opportunity: What if the AI was honest instead of agreeable? Same rules for everyone. Same willingness to challenge your framing. Same question: "How would your partner describe this situation?"

Approach

SAM is an AI relationship coach you can text. No app to download, no new interface to learn. Save the number, start a conversation. It meets you in the messaging environment you already use every day.

Because this is sensitive territory, every design decision prioritizes trust:

• Privacy by default. Conversations are encrypted with your own passphrase. I literally cannot read what you discuss with SAM, even if I wanted to.
• No weaponization. SAM refuses to help draft manipulative messages, guilt trips, or ultimatums. It helps you communicate better, not win arguments.
• Safety awareness. SAM watches for signs of self-harm or crisis. When conversations go beyond coach-level support, it exits gracefully with resources, without penalizing the user or making them feel broken.
• Value before monetization. The goal is delivering a genuine "aha moment" before ever asking for anything. If SAM isn't useful, it shouldn't cost you.

Tradeoffs:

• Telegram first. Started here because it's the fastest to build and test. WhatsApp and SMS will come after validation.
• Honesty over helpfulness. SAM pushes back and challenges your perspective. This can feel less "supportive" in the moment, but it's more useful.
• Privacy over debugging. User-keyed encryption means I can't access conversations to improve the product. Worth it for trust.

North Star Metrics

Primary: First value. Did the user have an "aha moment"? A long conversation isn't bad; it often signals deep engagement. The hurdle is whether SAM delivered something genuinely useful.

Secondary: Continued engagement. A mix of frequency (do they come back?) and depth (do they open up?). If someone returns and goes deeper, that's the signal.

Tech Stack

• TypeScript / Node.js
• Telegram Bot API (grammy)
• Anthropic Claude API for the coaching intelligence
• PostgreSQL for storage, Redis for sessions
• Deployed on Railway.app

Status

Currently in development. Core features are built: coaching personality, conversational onboarding, encryption, and the safety system. Now testing and running AI evals to refine the experience before opening up more broadly.